DOUGGPOUND

I did this a few years ago after I started a trend on twitter.

There’s an app for that.

Feeling sleepy? There’s a nap for that.

Crave new Creed? Ask Scott Stapp for that.

Enjoyed a performance? There’s a clap for that.

Said something rude? Get a slap for that.

Mouthed off to the coach? Run a lap for that.

Your kids misogynistic? Blame rap for that.

Tired of “sir?” brits have “chap” for that.

Like Ed Grimley? He’s a sap for Pat.

Taking a crap with long johns? There’s a flap for that.

Favorite metal band? Spinal Tap, or Ratt

Mailing something fragile? Bubble wrap’s for that

Want a blended coffee? There’s a frapp for that.

Marching band hat loose? There’s a strap for that.

Wanna write some blues licks? There’s a Strat for that.

Lips feeling dry? There is a chap for that.

Missed the game? There’s a recap for that.

Wanna reply to a tweet? There’s an @ for that.

Empire is striking back? There’s an AT-AT for that.

Need a great male actor? Oliver Platt does that.

Body feeling plain? There’s a tat for that.

Like Pyramid brewery? There’s a Sno Cap on tap.

Planning a drive-by? There’s a gat for that.

Like your christmas music jazzy? there’s a Nat for that.

Gingivitis? Blame plaque for that.

Like automatic guns? There’s a Ra ta ta tat!

Need a blue ribbon? There’s a Pabst for that.

Like gay rodeos? There’s an assless chap for that.

Need to get REVENGE? There’s a tit for tat.

Got mud on your boots? There’s a mat for that.

Ho runnin’ her mouth? Pop a cap in that.

Like to rock with Jimmie Page? There’s a Plant for that.

Gotta joke that just died? Let’s play Taps for that.

Source: SoundCloud / Douggpound

2012-07-24

I edited this and did the music. Sampled Men at Work songs and Midnight Oil. That drummer in the beginning is from AC/DC.

See you in Australia and Zealand!

2012-06-06

This was a long interview before they let me edit it.

2012-06-05

This!

2012-03-07

VICE: Joke Busters

I wrote it.

2012-02-23

Jonas Polsky: Jonas Polsky Investigates: DJ Douggpound

jonaspolsky:

by Jonas Polsky

Call me DJ Quickening, but there comes a time in every man’s life when he must take a break from referencing the 1986 film “Highlander” and stick his neck out for a head-chopping comedy interview that’s an electrifying cut above the rest.

He’s America’s premier Comedy…